Archive for the ‘Ugly Politics’ Category

Good God, Give them Texas

Friday, April 17th, 2009

There are some bold statements coming out of Texas this week. Apparently their conservative politicians feel the need to hint at secession to make political waves. Their governor, aghast that the US government in charge “hadn’t been reading the constitution right”, and, considering his next run for governor, decided to make threats on behalf of “the people”.

USA without Texas

Give them Texas. Imagine what would happen. There would be a migration of bibles going south, and a migration of open, forward-thinking realists going north. The move would streamline both conservative and liberal agendas.

Texas would immediately become a big player in international politics and trade. Hell, they would be able to export their oil, wind energy, and three Cs (cotton, cows, and cement). They could grow up to be a big balloon amongst the other balloons. Of course the other nations would despise Texas, but hey – persecution would just inspire their ideals.

But things would get out of hand and their balloon would start to leak. There would be no abortions or mention of birth control in Texas and a general consensus that trickle down, pick-yourself-up-by-the-bootstraps politics is the way to go. It would become like a third world country in some areas of Texas, and to fix the situation they would punish the teachers, and send missionaries because obviously the poor people’s problem is their lack of faith. A large green cloud would float over Texas. But still, conservatives would blame all the problems on liberals. Rush, who moves to Texas shortly after the secession, would say, “The United States should be helping us out in our situation. After all it was their liberal media that instilled horrible values in our children.”

The secession would help so much in everything we want to do in the US. Not only would our federal government be released from slow-as-molasses deadlock, but half of our Mexican border issue would be resolved, our energy crisis would get a boost since Texans consume the most energy in the nation per capita and as a whole, and we might actually get universal healthcare. No longer would politicians talk talk talk; instead they would talk, consider, and do.

I like it, good thinking from Rick Perry. And I think Chuck Norris would make a great Conservative President for Texas.

  • Share/Save/Bookmark

NRSC Tilted View

Thursday, April 9th, 2009

From The National Republican Senatorial Committee:  “Symbolism and leadership are critical in matters of world affairs. So it’s stunning that just hours after he apologized to a European audience last week, and said America has been “arrogant” and “dismissive,” President Obama paid fealty to Saudi King Abdullah by bowing to him at the G-20 Summit in London.”

Do you think the Saudi’s have power over us now?  Since Obama gave a respectful bow, do the Saudi people assume that their government has control over America?  The idea is ridiculous.  There is no way, in this day and age, that something like that will affect the opinion of any society.  However, it may affect the opinion of other leaders in the world.  And I would like to volunteer the idea that, “maybe the rest of the world leaders would appreciate this fresh change in American politics”.

I think the Republican Senatorial Committee is just angry that the Obama administration is being so nice to everyone.  “Preposterous!  How does he get away with all this hubbub!  Gribble Grabble Grumble!”

  • Share/Save/Bookmark
   
Hoboditty Comic Blog: Burnside Amphitheatre Daily Fortune About the Performance Store Closed Burnside Amphitheatre